Crashing Konoha
by The Perilous Monster Eater
Summary: Everything started with a little book and a boy who was afraid to go back home. Everything ended as a prelude to one of the greatest legends in the world. In between? Naruto's still trying to figure that out.
1. Go home

_Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the associated characters therein._

_

* * *

_"Oh ho! I've got you now, Namikaze Minato!" he roared, hands out to his sides. He yelled to the skies, his eyes as fierce as the scattering beasts of the wild. "Come out and face me!"

The blonde haired warrior couldn't help but chuckle. 'This guy, he's got no idea what it means to be a ninja.'

Two three pronged kunai found their place between his fingers. 'Then again, neither do I. I mean, who uses golden kunai in the middle of a forest during daylight?'

_'The Golden Flash would!!!'_

Minato grinned, and plunged the first kunai into the branch just above him. In the same movement, he launched the second kunai aimlessly through the forest, waiting for that satisfying…

Thunk.

His eyes darted towards the sound. "You've gotten sloppy, Nam-i-kaz-e." Each letter was accented with his Ame drawl, and with the unsheathing of his tri-sectioned sword.

Each piece was popped into place from the hilt, each third of the blade held into place by tight chain links featuring stray hooks. Any time the blade made contact with another weapon, it wrapped around like a snake, making it difficult to disconnect by hand.

Only an expert swordsman would ever think to use a weapon like it.

And he was the greatest.

_'No...he's only second best…'_

He inhaled…took a deep breath of Konoha forest air...and then vanished in a glint of silvery sparks. "School of Musashi: Strike of Nonthought!!!"

The swordsman reappeared mid-swing, his chain-sword obeying the speed and strength of his flourish as it tore through the wind.

Through the trees.

Through branches.

Through the trunk.

Through Minato's spine.

Through Minato's stomach.

_'N-No way! There's no way!'_

The sword sliced through the tree as easily as it had cut through the air.

Dead center. Impaled to the other side. There were no splinters...no stray dust particles…It was as if he had been standing there the entire time, as much a part of the trees and foliage as any leaf could have been.

It was as it should have been...because he was the greatest swordsman in the the world...and there, on the other side of that tree, was his greatest opponent.

"You are damned fast, that's for sure." Minato released a low whistle, but only before coughing up a smattering of blood across his cloak. "Faster then I am on a bad day, anyway."

_'The Golden Flash doesn't have bad days!!!'_

The Ame-nin laughed. "You don't have bad days."

"No…I really don't."

"The Golden Flash does have his last day though, as we all do."

"Haaaa…" A long, drawn out laugh of a man in his death throes. "I look forward to seeing that day...I'll be even more bad ass than I am today. You can believe that, swordsman."

"You speak as though you'll still be alive, Flash."

"Yeah? So do you." And then he vanished in a puff of smoke.  
_  
'Wh-what the?!'_

"What the...Namikaze!"

A single kunai answered the swordsman's call, and flew through the forest with speed that had put his previous attack to shame. He wouldn't see it coming...it was coming in at the same angle that he had Minato impaled.

It sliced through the trees.

_'Get em…'_

Through branches.

_'Get em, Yellow Flash.'_

Through the trunk.  
_  
'Get em, Namikaze!!!'_

Through the Ame-nin's-

"NARUTO!"

The classroom, previously muted by his imagination, was suddenly live with the activity of 8 and 9 year olds muttering amongst themselves as Iruka stopped in the middle of his rousing lesson on Konoha Tree Splitters to get the dead lasts attention.

"What are you doing, Naruto?" The voice was far, far too friendly to be coming from Iruka-sensei. It was a trap.

"Uh…reading, Iruka-sensei?"

The class broke into murmurs. Naruto? Reading?

The dead last could read?

Kiba smirked, and whispered something to Shikamaru. Five bucks said that it was a comic book.

"Okay, Naruto." He crossed his arms. "Care to share with the class what you're reading?"

This was such a trap...such a trap!

"Uh...The Fourth Chronicles?" Gasps permeated throughout the classroom. Shock and awe on their faces. The dobe had bothered to buy a book outside of class and read it?

Kiba looked around briefly, and also found that Choji had stopped eating. "The hell is going on!?"

"Oh...well, stop reading that, and pay attention, Naruto." Iruka wasn't smiling, but he wasn't yelling, either. It wasn't a trap after all. "And Kiba, see me after class."

The classroom chorused with a giant 'ohhhhhhhhhh'. The universal sound for 'He is so in trouble.'

"And all of you quiet down and...actually…" He ran a hand through his hair in silent exasperation. "Henge Test!"

A collective groan sounded throughout the classroom.

'Why bother telling them that I was going to test them anyway? Better they think that I'm punishing them.' Iruka smirked...and the class collectively shuddered. "Alright! Starting with you, Sakura, transform into the third hokage!"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"And the next time you think that you're going to curse in my classroom, I'll ask your mom to sit in here with you." Iruka finished, regarding Kiba with raised eyebrows, "Don't swear in my room again, Kiba."

Kiba, cowed by the sudden threat of having his mother sit in the class (and Iruka-sensei's ability to somehow pull it off) could only nod.

"Excellent. I'll see you tomorrow."

Another nod from the frightened child.

"That means go home, Kiba."

Another nod. A whimper from Akamaru.

"I haven't told your mother, Kiba."

_That_ got the boy running, and Iruka could only give a sigh. He hadn't even left the room yet. He hadn't left since the moment he'd walked into the academy, so how would he have gone to see Kiba's mother?

_Fwip._

Kids.

He shook his head bemusedly, and put his pen to the parchment. He began writing down his observations of the class. It was a rule. As a teacher, or pre-nin enrichment instructor for a ninja village, it was up to him to record all things ninja about the youth that he taught.

Kiba didn't know it, but that little display showed that he had below average cognitive and sub-basic problem solving abilities. It reflected badly on his future ability and if one were being realistic, it reflected badly on his general survivability, too.

But then, he'd been surprised before.

_Fwip. Fwip._

Just look at Uzumaki-kun.

Yes. Uzumaki Naruto.

_Yes_, the same Uzumaki Naruto who painted over the historically legendary and well-preserved monument that cost millions yearly for upkeep.

The boy was dumb as a bag of bricks when it came to learning something in a classroom and in basic societal norms. But stick him outside, give him some wire, a kunai, and an explosive tag? He could make a double-layered trap including a high velocity vertical firing kunai.

So yes, the boy was an idiot in terms of basic book smarts. But in terms of actual combat practicality?

No need to say it. Get back to work Iruka.

_Fwip. Fwip. Fwip._

"What the...what is that?" For the first time since class ended, Iruka tore his eyes from the stack of observations lying on his desk to the classroom around him.

Desks and chairs arranged in the lecture hall format. The seats were pitched, so that those sitting higher would have visual access to whatever was happening at the bottom.

"Naruto?"

In his usual seat, somewhere in the middle where he could get the attention of the back row kids; Kiba, Shikamaru and Chouji, and where he could harass the front row kids; Hinata, Ino, and Sasuke, Naruto sat alone. Save for Shino, who often sat next to Naruto voluntarily, and found himself exempt from Naruto's harassment.

But none of that explained why Naruto was still there.

Fwip.

Naruto turned the page again. "Huh?"

"Huh?" Iruka raised both eyebrows, and clapped his hand against the desk. "Huh?" It came out rather testy. A mocking response meant to teach the boy how to properly address adults. It helped that he was the scariest adult Naruto knew.

Naruto's eyes opened wide, and snapped back up towards Iruka. "I mean, yes sensei?"

"Class has been over for fifteen minutes, Naruto."

Naruto didn't look surprised or ashamed at that; he just stared back with a subdued smile on his face. "Yeah, I know sensei." His eyes drifted back down to the book.

"Not in much of a rush today?"

"Nah, not really." Came the muttered reply.

Iruka stared at the boy for a bit longer, and gave a sigh. He placed the pen next to the Uzumaki report. "Naruto, you do know that you can't stay here all day, right?"

He just stared back, not quite defiantly, but judging by the look in his eyes, the small Uzumaki most certainly disagreed.

Iruka also disagreed. But he wouldn't let Naruto know that. It would be a cold day in hell before he ever admitted to Uzumaki that yes, you really are becoming a skilled ninja.

And so they both stared at each other for several very long moments.

"Naruto?"

"Huh?"

"Go home."

"I can't." Naruto said.

"Why not?"

"There's a little person in my house and he won't leave."


	2. Warning Shots

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Castle Crashers or any of the associated characters therein.

Beta: Chizune, T-R-Us

* * *

"Kami almighty! Close the door!"

_Wunk! Thunk thunk thunk!_

Just as Iruka slammed the door shut, three axes ripped into the wood as easily as chakra-induced kunai. They embedded themselves into the door, and peeked just through the wood, their razor sharp blades giving a hardy hello as they glinted under the low light of the hallway.

"Naruto," Iruka started, his hands remaining firmly on both sides of the door, just in case the tiny...thing decided to charge through it. From where he stood, all three axes looked old. Large patches of rust made up the sides of the blades, and where rust wasn't, dried blood made up the rest.

No, it wasn't a pretty weapon at all. But it was heavy...and it was sharp. If that thing wanted to launch those axes through the door, then it could have.

"Warning shots." He lifted both hands off of the door abruptly and took a few steps backwards. He nearly stepped on the student behind him.

"Hey! Watch it!"

"Sorry." He pressed his back against the wall adjacent to the door, and slumped onto his butt. "Damn."

"Ohhhhh!" Naruto began giggling madly, as only a twelve year old could. "You cursed! You cursed! You-"

"There's a tiny axe throwing man in your room, and you're concerned with my cursing?" He released a long suffering sigh, something that he often reserved for class time. "How long has it been in there?"

Naruto slumped down next to him. "He was there when I woke up this morning. I mean...it was creepy! I open my eyes and bam! There he is!" Seeing Iruka nod, with both his brows furrowed, Naruto continued. "So-SO! I thought it was just a dream? And I just did what I normally do: eat breakfast, get washed and dressed, and sharpen my stuff! He just kept following me! Even into the bathroom!"

Iruka pursed his lips. "But...it never attacked?"

"Huh? Nah. He started sharpening his axe when I did my kunai, but he never attacked or anything."

"Right…Of course not." It was unspoken, but if it had attacked, he would've been assisting with the burial of his favorite student. He wondered if Naruto knew that.

"Hey..Iruka-sensei?"

"Yeah?"

"This means I'm not crazy, right?"

"This means you're less crazy, Naruto."

"…Okay. What do we do now?"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

_Wunk! Thunk! Thunk! Thunk!_

Ibiki was a veteran in the most literal sense. He had survived the second Shinobi War, single handedly put an end to the first and only shinobi cold war, he'd been captured as a POW more times then he cared to remember (or could remember) and had been tortured twice that many times.

He currently had a record of 3 S-rank missions, 28 A-rank missions, 67 B-rank missions, 109 C-rank missions, and 2 D-rank missions. Of those missions, 7 A-rank missions were failed.

Of those 7 A-rank missions, 1 was failed because of a man who was naked, severely obese and had kunai hidden within his many folds of skin.

The point was this: Ibiki had seen a lot of shit.

"Iruka."

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay, I wouldn't have believed me either."

"Snrk…" Naruto snickered. "But you believed me, Iruka-sensei!"

"Yeah, but you're also the kid who painted the entire Hokage monument." Ibiki answered. "It ain't so weird, comin' from you."

"Hey! You-"

"ANYway." Iruka interrupted. "The thing showed up this morning, and didn't attack Naruto. In fact, from what he's told me, it's docile towards him."

"Oh. Really?"

Iruka shrugged and nodded.

"Then put him in there and see if the thing can talk."

"HEY!"

"Why would I do that, Ibiki-san?"

"Because it's intelligent enough to know the difference between us and him, plus, that thing is skilled and-"

"HEEY!"

"-And you're thinking that if that thing is interested, Konoha might have some powerful allies, and Naruto might have some new deadly friends.

"Heeeeeeey…." Naruto soon found himself stroking his very naked chin in thought. "A deadly friend, huh? Yeah, that would be kick a-!!!"

A swift chop to his forehead stopped the swearword in its tracks.

Iruka sighed again, and held up his other hand. "Or he could have just been lucky, and this time the little beast'll chop him in half."

"HEY!"

Ibiki shrugged. "You're telling me that the thing was in this kid's room for nearly three hours, and didn't think to attack the boy?"

"I'm asking if you want to risk _this_ specific child on some passing curiosity of yours."

Ibiki gave that some thought. Yes, this was the Kyuubi kid. Yes, he was a genin in training. Yes, he was the Hokage's favorite pet, and yes, he was also Iruka's favorite pet.

"Yes. Yes I do." He grinned behind gnarled scars. "If this...little person is one of many, and we decide to kill it or ignore it...we may lose more then just the kid here."

That made Iruka pause. "Let's ask Naruto about what he wants to do, alright?"

"That's fine. Let em' pick then."

Iruka turned to face Naruto. "You heard...Naruto?" He found nothing; only the sight of a an open door and Uzumaki Naruto sitting cross-legged in front of the tiny man.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Um...hey...can you talk?"

It had deer hide patches for a face. Patches upon patches upon patches, and two mounted horns on either side of its head. Six tiny holes were drilled into a thick metal plate that sat on the leather patches strapped around the head with a single strip of cow hide. Three thick grooves crossed where it's mouth should have been.

Its body was simply a larger patchwork of a brown deer hide and lamb skin, along with a holster that crossed around his chest, so that he could wear his axe on its back.

"Come oooon...I heard Iruka-Sensei back there! You're not an idiot! You didn't attack me, right?!"

It said nothing, a being that was stoic as it was strange raised a non existant eye brow at the boy's inquiries.

"You _can_ talk, can't you?"

It took a deep breath. And then...


	3. People Like You

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Castle Crashers or any of the associated characters therein.

Beta: Chizune, T-R-Us

* * *

"Ahh. Me thought...me thinks you were Boss Naruto at first….but...stupid old men call you...now me know...You Boss Naruto!" This, of course was said as it brandished it's axe, stomping towards the boy with all the weight of a two year old.

"...Eh? Augh!!!" He threw his hands over his face to defend himself, waiting for the strike through the head that would never come. And then it all hit him at once…"Boss!?"

"Yeah! Yeah!" It spoke in a voice that was a mix between a small child and a squealing rat. "Wait! No...no!"

"Eh?"

"Noooooo! Boss! Pleeeeeease no destroy meeeeee!"

"Huh? No, I'm not gonna…" Of course, it was doing all of its squealing with its axe planted firmly at Naruto's neck.

"You not?" It released a deep breath, a shuddering, wet sound. "Good. I kill you if you try! Until you my boss you just MEAT that I eat! Like deer! 'Cept tall!"

"I'm not gonna try to kill you!"

"Not yet!" It lowered the axe and pointed a pudgy, accusatory finger into the boy's face. "Not yet!!! And if you not become boss, I never give you channnnnce!"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Iruka watched with all the curiosity of watching…well, a tiny axe-wielding maniac threaten his favorite student, but made no move to defend the boy.

"This is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, Ibiki."

The older man gave a grunt in response. "Well...I told you that it could speak."

"But that thing is clearly insa-!!!" Iruka started to shout, but simply cut himself off, and shook his head. He would not give himself a hernia trying to explain logic to an interrogation specialist with screw holes in his head. "Please. Please stop talking now."

He'd have to trust that Naruto had paid attention during his remedial diplomacy class.

Ibiki raised an eyebrow at his old student when Iruka suddenly began laughing.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Wait!" Naruto held up both hands. The first rule of diplomacy was…was...CRAP! What was the first rule of diplomacy!? What the hell did that even mean!? "Uh…can I be your Boss?"

"Noooo!!!" It squealed, in its horrible rat voice. "You Boss to allll Barbarians! We…we…what Nin-Boss say?" It began scratching its leathery chin. "We...offering to almighty Boss, but Boss have to have meeting with other boss!"

"Soo...all I have to do is say yes...and I'll be the boss?"

"Yesssss! Then Barbarians follow Boss for life!"

"Oh! Seriously!? Well hell yes then!"

It nodded sagely, its hand still on its chin. "So, you boss now?"

Naruto nodded smugly. "Yep, I'm the boss now."

"I seee…" It threw itself to Naruto's feet. "I soooooorry for threaten you! I no mean it! I...I confused by perfect hair and perfect teeth and...and pretty Gary-Stu eyes! You like movie, boss! MOVIE!"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Iruka gave a sigh of relief, and slowly stood to his feet….

_Whif…..Thunk!_

And promptly sat back down.

"He has really good aim." Iruka warily eyed the axe that had buried itself into the wall where his head once was.

"Weeeee no done talking! Fooool!" It yelled from the room, another axe already in it's pudgy hands.

Ibiki gave an approving nod at the little man. "For the good of Konoha, right Iruka?"

For the second time that day, Iruka gave a world weary sigh, and kept watching a monster no taller then his knees grovel to Naruto.

That is to say, he watched until the tiny man vanished with absolutely no warning. No shunshin smoke. No afterimage. It was just gone.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
He stood to his full height, an impressive 6'5". "When I arrived to investigate a suspicious sighting named by Chuunin Umino Iruka, I, along with genin Uzumaki Naruto, found an intelligent being no taller then two feet wielding an axe. It attacked Iruka, and myself but allowed Uzumaki Naruto to approach. The being offered the abilities of its tribe to Konoha, if Uzumaki-san agreed to meet with the 'boss'."

"Ibiki, Iruka." Sarutobi Hiruzen spoke in an even voice that was normally reserved for those presenting him with reports from his Konoha special forces. The ANBU. "It is normally unspoken, but I want you all to know that I hold your opinions and work to the highest regard."

"Yes sir…" Ibiki responded. This was not the response that he wanted. As the lead interrogator and torture specialist, everything he said should never have been disregarded. The smallest crack could ruin the greatest foundation...and so it was for the smallest secrets and the greatest ninja village.

"Yes sir." Iruka just gave a nod. Having worked with the most infamous genin for three years offered the chance to come up with some pretty creative speeches when speaking to Naruto...so...yeah, he was pretty sure he'd heard this speech before.

"So-!" Hiruzen barked, snapping the jounin and chuunin back to attention. "I want to let you all know how irrefutably irritated I am that you two walked into my office, used my ink and parchment, wrapped it in a scroll, put it through encryption who are still laughing...and ultimately brought it to my desk, all for the sake of a prank created by Uzumaki Naruto."

"But…"

"Hey…"

"Gentleman." His fingers laced together, and his elbows rested onto the desk. "I have killed people for less."

"Aaah…"

"I really don't…"

"Misinformation costs my village both yen and loyal ninja every year, and you two…some of my most trusted ninja, stand before me with a waste of my time and materials for no other reason than for your own personal amusement?"

There was an awkward pause, as Ibiki and Iruka managed to feel ashamed and ...justified at the same time.

"Get the hell out of my office. Now."

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!" It roared, nine tails of terror whipping around its sleek, fiery body. "Foolish humans! I am as far beyond you as you are beyond the fowl of the air!"

"Humans and birds aren't so far apart, Kyuubi." Like a child scolded, Minato spoke quietly. "We're stronger than you think, we fly higher than you know...and we are more dangerous than you'd hoped!"

When the beast laughed its terrifying laugh, its volcanic breath ripped buildings asunder, and sent friendly shinobis flying through the air as crimson ashes.

Yet even in the face of that, Minato Namikaze, the fourth hokage, stood his ground. Standing atop the great toad boss, Gamabunta, his eyes showed no fear.

_Cause the fourth ain't afraid of anything!_

"Very well, fearless human. Show me your power...show the potential of your kind!"

"You asked for it, you bastard."

It was that day, that Minato Namikaze revealed his true power to all those present. A power so horrible, yet glorious in magnitude, that he had sealed it deep within himself.

"I hid my true power to keep myself level with those I competed with...no challenge, you see." Minato said, his head held high despite the whipping torrents of wind surrounding his body. "And because such power will rip my soul from my body...but that is a small price to pay in order to defeat a glorious being such as yourself and protect my home."

The great beast, the Kyuubi stiffened. Such power was even greater than his own! "I see. Well done...I see your potential, and I accept my death."

It was that day that the Kyuubi lost his life. And the Yondaime, using his power provided by the will of fire, destroyed the Kyuubi in one fell swoop. One swing of a triple bladed kunai as he leapt through the air, and was momentarily rendered invisible by the glare of the silver moonlight and then did as gravity demanded.

He dropped down onto Kyuubi with all the force of a meteor.

The Kyuubi was afforded a moment of extra peripheral vision before dissipating into a cloud of crimson chakra, and becoming one with the Gaia again.

"Neh, Iruka-sensei." Naruto clapped the book closed, and furrowed his brow. "This book...it was cool and all at first, but now that I'm done, did the fourth really grow sudden super chakra abilities and destroy the Kyuubi with his chakra kunai?"

"No. He used a famous sealing technique to fuse the Kyuubi into his own stomach, thus causing the Kyuubi to evaporate." He murmured as he worked at the grade book in front him, absent-mindedly rattling off the "official" answer that all ninja had memorized. It was spoken more in reflex then anything else, requiring little more thought then breathing.

_~It is to be considered that the following, in some capacity, will have a reasonable life span in keeping with the shinobi lifestyle: Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke, Aburame Shino. Therefore, I recommend that these three be waived the genin exams, and be placed in-  
_  
"Wait a minute...why are you still here, Naruto?" He didn't bother looking up. Too much to do, and the Sandaime had demanded the report as soon as he had finished up in class.

Iruka received that order twenty minutes before class ended.

Yes. The Sandaime was still angry at him.

Two weeks later.

"Yeeeeah….hey, Iruka-sensei? I can't go home right now." Naruto raised an eyebrow, and looked down at his desk for an answer. It offered none. "Kami...I wish I were...okay, there's another one in my room..."

Iruka calmly placed the pen down, and pressed both hands against the desk. He could feel a single grey hair growing in his head. "_Fine_. Meet me there."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Iruka-san, you are either a glutton for punishment, or you are really very serious." Sarutobi Hiruzen leaned forward, elbows planted on his desk. "So then, I take it there is something you desire to tell me that has something to do with the reports that I asked for not being on my desk?"

"Yes sir. There's another small man in Academy Student Uzumaki Naruto's apartment."

"Is there? Would you care to tell me why you didn't simply notify ANBU?"

"...Because it was something I wanted you to see first, Hokage-sama." Iruka spoke strictly in a monotone voice, his face the very image of a stoic ninja.

"You cannot expect me to come running to your aid based on your wants, chuunin Iruka. Explain this situation further."

"Hokage-sama, please don't make me. Just...just look into your all-seeing crystal. Surely you will see what it is I speak of."

The two simply stared at each other for a long while. It was an awkward moment that neither man was comfortable with.

The hokage wordlessly activated the all seeing crystal, and his eyes widened for a moment. "Iruka, what-" He stood to his feet again. "Meet me there." And then he vanished in a shunshin.

- - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - -

This time, it was a ninja. One from the traditional times...Naruto had seen it once or twice in the old books. Predecessors to the new world, they dressed in black or dark blue. The shadows were their ninjutsu, and their favorite weapons were the ones that made death look like an accident. They were assassins, and this one looked no different, save for his tiny height and his forehead protector.

The forehead protector sat blank and rusted beyond repair on it's head, covering the eyes of the small beast.

Its mouth remained the only part of its body uncovered...and all that revealed were two rows of smiling teeth.

And because it remained hidden in the shadows, that was all Naruto could _really_ make out.

"Uzumaki." It's voice sounded like the ragged patches of wood that made up Naruto's floor. "You accepted the Barbarians into your fold...that's quite an honor for us."

Naruto nodded very slowly. He had been standing in the doorway ever since he'd returned home.  
"We came here to fight, you know."

Naruto nodded again. Very slowly and very calm. If he reacted swiftly, the strange tiny ninja man might suddenly do something crazy…like...like anything a really small ninja might do.

"We'll be watching you now." It moved for the very first time, picking at its teeth with something very sharp, and very shiny. "We came here to fight...to find battles...it's what we live for. And we think you will have the biggest battles...you know why?"

The academy student nodded, and then shook his head and then nodded again. _...That voice…_

"Its something I always say...the bigger the army, the bigger the war. The stronger the general, the bigger the army." The tiny ninja gave a sniffle, rubbing at it's nose with it's other hand. "Just say yes and promise to live a life of battle...a life of combat. Become the Warlord Uzumaki, and I swear our allegiance to you forever."

"Th-there's no way!" The genin-to-be snapped out of his reverie and stomped his foot angrily. "I ain't gonna be a warlord or whatever you said!" He pointed at the tiny being. "I'ma be hokage! _Watch THAT!" _

"Very good Uzumaki...very good." The ninja picked at his teeth again. "But either way….you'll spend your life fighting. People like you...people like you spend their lives in war."

"People like _me_?! What the hell is that-"

The little ninja scoffed. "Oh, _you know_! You know _exactly_ what you've got insi-"

Naruto had little idea of what happened, only the sudden rush of wind, a trail of blood running down his cheek, and a plume of smoke trailing from the tiny ninja's shadows.

A piece of wood with a kunai emerging from the bark slowly rolled from the darkness, a single piece of paper hanging from the blade.

"Naruto, try not to listen to the words of mad men, hm?" Sarutobi Hiruzen marched in behind the boy, resting his gnarled hands on his shoulders. "Did he harm you Naruto-kun?"

"Nah…" Naruto muttered. His eyes locked on the broken piece of wood. "What took ya so long, old man?"

"I needed to see what he was offering…" Hiruzen said simply, and guided the boy out of the room by his shoulders. "Come, I'll buy you some ramen tonight." However, Sarutobi's thoughts drifted off to darker places.

'Who was he? And how did he know about…_that_? And what about the ability he may have gained from them?'

This would require thought...and tomorrow, action.


	4. One Sided Fight

"-In conclusion, the third hokage is smart, strong, and knows nearly a thousand jutsu! Plus, he's the only hokage to be called the professor. He's also very nice, and considered one of the most peaceful kage, even in a wartime scenario."

Fortunately, the youth weren't watching the way Iruka's eyes instantly rose, and his lips pursed. Peaceful in a wartime scenario?

He had a kill count equal to the Uchiha massacre during the Rock-Leaf conflict, and nearly eighty-nine unconfirmed kills after the Hyuuga/Cloud incident.

He had gone alone, and he had sent himself on that mission in broad daylight. All of his kills ranged from Jounin to ANBU, and he had not been seen once. There was no proof; only widows, blood, and orphans.

THAT was when Cloud stopped demanding proper payment for their lost diplomat.

The only reason Iruka knew was because Sarutobi had passed the highly confidential post-report to him that same afternoon; as calm and collected as though he were providing him with more Academy work to dig through for proofreading.

It dawned on Iruka that this was the only way the old man knew to vent.

"Excellent, Haruno-san, please take your seat. Your research was well done, however; I do ask that you do the extra effort, and gather information from older shinobi, rather then from an encyclopedia."

'Your inability to look past your books reflects badly on your future as an information gathering shinobi, and shows that you lack the current ability to look past the obvious on the field.'

He made a mental note to place that in his next report, and stood to his feet.

"Alright, Inuzuka Kiba, please present your report on the greatest hokage to the cla-"

"-Actually, Iruka-sensei…"

In an instant, Iruka was at attention, his hands to his sides and his head bowed, and the rest of the class followed suit. Instantly silenced at the sudden arrival of their Sandaime Hokage.

"Heeeey! Old man!"

Of course, only one student had the utter gall to ignore the fact that his military leader had arrived, and not salute.

It was unspoken that only Naruto got away with not saluting. But then again, it was also unspoken that no one but a few people liked him.

Sarutobi ignored the young Uzumaki.

"Iruka-sensei, I would like very much to see your student's progress. A quick tournament, no holds barred, and a pass the stake bracket. The starters will be Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke."

Gasps erupted throughout the class, but Sarutobi's attention remained focused on the equally stoic Iruka.

A stoic, very concerned Iruka.

"Yes...of course, Lord Hokage."

"Very good. Take them to field Number three, then Iruka-san."

Naruto was, bar none, the single best trap layer in the room. He was also one of the worst taijutsu, ninjutsu, and genjutsu practitioners in the room. In fact, as far as his practical usage of these subjects went, he was just above the practical dead last, Haruno Sakura.

And even worse, field Number three was designed for heavy combat specialists in mind. It was an open field surrounded by thick, hard to traverse foliage that wouldn't allow for much more than very temporary hiding.

There would be no trap making. No...hide and go seek, as it were.

In short, Uzumaki Naruto was about to get his ass kicked in a very public and very humiliating way.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

When Sasuke hit the class dobe, he sent the boy tumbling back, his arms flailing backwards in a desperate attempt to catch himself before the bastard had…

Nope.

The gap was way, way too far between them. The second Naruto managed to stop himself, the hand-signs for his fire technique had begun and ended, and the Uchiha spoke for the first time.

"Katon! Great Fireball!" With practiced ease, he gathered the chakra in his lungs. He took a moment to savor the lava swimming up his throat, to enjoy the hazard of having superheated chakra permeate and multiply inside his chest before holding up his middle and index fingers to his mouth and exhaling.

The fight was, after all, no holds barred. And in the face of that…

"Whoa!" Naruto flailed to the right, just out of the path of the flaming wrecking ball.

The orange to-be genin never missed a beat, however, and stumbled forward, desperate to regain his footing and go on the offensive.

Sasuke, desperate to press his advantage, charged in after his off-balance prey. Forget any fancy roundhouse kicks or forward flips. He found himself skidding to a stop in front of the genin hopeful, planting his left foot deep into the ground, crouching his body, and thrusting his right foot into Narutos stomach.

He didn't have time for anything but efficiency.

Naruto was sent backwards, his arms flailing, an unfortunate backflip that ended with him face planted and wheezing for every last trace of air he could inhale. His stomach already sore and burning from the abuse, and his hands planted beneath himself, holding himself up as he seethed through his teeth.

The Uchiha performed a snap forward flip, ending with his foot outstretched and his heel aiming directly for the back of the young Uzumaki's neck.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Sarutobi watched with a calmness and curiosity that perfectly matched his namesake. The Professor.

"Naruto-kun is out of his depth, Iruka-san." A puff of his pipe, and the hokage spared the academy instructor a sidelong glance.

"What...I…." Iruka fumbled for the words, but simply found them muddled by his own anger towards the situation. In end, he settled for a simple,"Yes, hokage-sama."

The older man nodded once.

"Sasuke-kun, on the other hand, has a prowess that is impressive for his age."

"Y-yes, Hokage-sama."

Sarutobi's eyes never left the fight. A crooked smile took the place of his usual scowl, and the pipe found his mouth again.

"Let this fight see it's natural conclusion, Iruka-san."

The scarred chunnin's head snapped towards the hokage, but no words left his mouth. He was left gaping like a fish at the order.

The older man continued, exhaling a lung full of smoky tobacco as he gestured towards the two boys with his pipe. "This is a no holds barred battle Iruka, calm down. Let Naruto surprise you."

Iruka laughed. "Oh, he'll do that pretty definitely."

- - - - - - - - - - - -

The heel drop hit home, boring into Naruto's neck with a very audible snap.

Way, _way _too audible.

Uzumaki vanished in a plume of smoke, and Sasuke found his foot planted firmly in a hastily chopped chunk of tree trunk.

"Hm." He couldn't help it, he smiled a little bit. 'Interesting. So where are you now, idiot?'

Another snap of wood, and Sasuke heard the tell tale sound of something heavy being thrown; a whipping in the wind, as it were.

As if by magic, an axe wedged itself deep into the ground next to his foot, followed by a kunai…

And then an arrow. Apparently the idiot had been practicing with the bow and arrow. And hidden it somewhere in the trees the entire time. And somehow knew they were going to have their battle in _this _very area.

Focus, Sasuke.

And then he caught the sound of a _very_ confused Uzumaki Naruto who sounded as perplexed as he was. That was good, it meant it wasn't just him.

Seriously…._A bow and arrow_?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The _second _Naruto threw the kunai, _they _appeared out of nowhere.

He didn't have to look...he could feel the tree branch shift ever so slightly with their added weight, and then shifting as if they had never been there.

Mostly because that was _exactly _what happened.

Naruto threw the kunai, and in concert, they appeared. A minute puff of smoke, and then one with an axe, the other with a bow and arrows. The two weapons were launched the second they touched down, and then they bounced off the branch and into smoke without another word.

"So, when I throw kunai…? _Wild._"

He hastily drew more kunai from his pouch.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Sasuke spun around and darted towards the sound of drawn kunai. Without missing a step, he drew his own blade…

The first kunai that rained down bounced off the ground harmlessly. It hit hilt first, and proved harmless.

"Right." The dobe was dead last in armed warfare, 2 out of 48 legitimate targets every time...it was only natural that it carry over here.

In other words...ignore kunai.

Sasuke nodded to himself as he spun on his feet, scooping up the kunai as it made its second bounce against the ground, and using it to block the next incoming salvo.

...Only to perform a u-turn when he saw what was coming; Seven axes on a high arc, but their weight brought them in fast. Nine arrows were hurtling in on a second arc...directly at him.

And one more wildly spinning kunai that was on a completely different arc; aimed, presumably, at someone in Rice country, and therefore considerably less deadly.

"Oh fu-"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"-ck yes!!! This is so awesome!!!" Naruto cheered and started pumping his fists in the air excitedly. "I'm gonna kick so much ass now!!!"

- - - - - - - - - - -- - - - -

Iruka kept his hands clasped with each other, in front of his mouth, hiding the smile on his face.

It wouldn't do for him show to favoritism in front of the Hokage.

"Naruto-kun is doing very well, Iruka-san. It reflects positively on your ability, although…" The old man pursed his lips and fought a losing battle with a smile. "He is a bit loud, is he not?"

Iruka simply pursed his lips.

"I'd prefer to call him...enthusiastic."

"Ah."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"I want you to listen to me very well, Naruto."

Sasuke's smirking tone carried over Naruto's yelling, and the excited cheers of his peers.

Being forced to retreat by the dead last.

Either he was getting worse, or the dead last was getting better…and obviously, one was easier for him to accept than the other.

He dug a blunted kunai out of his pouch, and flipped it into the air a few times, catching it easily on its descent.

"You've got my attention now."

The blunted kunai was launched with an eagle's accuracy, and he waited for that tell-tale…

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"DAMN IT!!!"

_Thunk._

The kunai hit him dead center in his forehead, and Naruto had just enough time to release an awkward sounding squawk followed by a string of obscenities.

As he fell from the tree head first, he couldn't help but think that being hit by a blunted kunai felt a lot like being punched in the face.

And then his world exploded into muffled noises and pitch black...and for only a moment, he could have sworn he heard something that sounded like…

_"Tch...almost got me. Dobe."_

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Iruka pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.

The Hokage had been right to interrupt his class and demand the free for all battle, as it brought certain issues about his students to his attention. He looked down at the newest report on his desk, signing the bottom and following up with a quick swipe of his pen to his finger, and pressing a bloody finger print next to the signature.

_Post Academy Tournament Results: Results listed in the order of most pressing issues._

_Haruno Sakura: As instructor, I am declaring this student an unnecessary risk to the more promising genin. Sakura surrendered the moment Sasuke took stance. _

_Inuzuka Kiba: Has complete confidence in his combat prowess. He was defeated by Sasuke in 4.5 seconds, because he charged the boy. Thus far, all grades and actions indicate that he needs to be a combat specialist, front lines. It is postulated that he will peak at rank Chunnin._

_Yamanaka Ino: While defeated by Sasuke, showed certain amount of potential in direct combat. She proved to be impressive defensively, and even managed to trap the Uchiha in a low level positioning genjutsu. Diverse, placing her under Sarutobi Asuma or Hatake Kakashi would be wise._

_Uchiha Sasuke: Highly impressive across the board. Won all of his matches flawlessly. He adjusted accordingly to every new opponent, and did so nearly instantaneously. I stand by my recommendation that his exams be waived, and he be placed under Hatake Kakashi, or in an internship with Special Jounin Mitiarshi Anko._

_Uzumaki Naruto: Proved himself impressively flexible, which causes me to retract my previous report. Uzumaki Naruto is not entirely inept in close combat, and is apparently highly diverse in ranged combat._

_In short, he seems to be skilled in avoidance and retaliation attacks in close range combat. Although his noisiness leaves much to be desired, he has grown in an unexpected way. It is recommended that his exam be waived, and he be placed under Hatake Kakashi or Sarutobi Asuma._

_All other potential shinobi were unremarkable or typical of their current recorded skill._

_As per always, these recommendations are only that, Lord Hokage, and likely to change. This is especially true due to the upcoming practical Academy finals. _

_"_That sounded like quite the test."

Iruka flinched, and before he had time to think or stop himself, stood out of his chair and held his pen to the intruder's neck. Jabbing it just deep enough into the trachea to pause his prisoner's air flow. He kept the man, taller and stockier then him, in a loose standing hand lock, keeping his fingers intertwined with the man's; one turn of the wrist, and he could snap three fingers.

It transpired in less then a second.

And then time caught up with him, and Iruka found himself staring not at the faceless apparition invading the academy, but Morino Ibiki pressed face first against the wall.

Iruka exhaled.

"Ibiki." He released the man's hand and took the pen from his throat, returning to his seat with a smile. "What can I do for you?"

The interrogation specialist rubbed his hand and laughed. The teacher man hadn't gone soft...not in taijutsu anyway.

"I was comin' to see if you weren't busy. Goin' drinking." He leaned over the smaller man's desk, and continued appraising the report. "Looks like you got a few decent brats this year, though."

"Yeah, Ino and Naruto surprised me." His finger traced past the names, stopping at Ino's. "Especially Ino. She has a lot of her dad in her."

"The littlest Yamanaka's a spitfire, huh?" He chuckled at that. "Her old man was a bit nuts...sat there and told me not to charge off without him, and the _second _a Rock nin shows up, he charged off _cursing _and _yelling _about this single nin _ruining _Konoha. I think he was a chunin!"

Iruka released a bark of laughter, and began nodding with the larger man.

"Yeah, Sasuke hadn't even said anything before Ino started yelling at him about not taking her seriously." Iruka laughed even harder at the thought. "They had only been standing there for a few seconds...it was the damned funniest thing I've seen in a long-"

_Snnnnnnnnnnnrrrrrrrrr…_

Both men's eyes snapped to the back of the classroom.

"You let Uzumaki sleep in here?"

Iruka didn't respond at first, he just stared at the boy who had fallen asleep with his arms folded on his desk, an urchin of blonde spikes sticking atop a sea of orange that shifted lazily as he slept.

"Sometimes." Iruka's tone suddenly changed, as though he were speaking about something homey or familiar. Something that was particularly close to his heart. "He's not in much of a rush to get home."

He shook his head and raised his arms in defeat. "Stop by _T&I_ if you wanna hit the bars with me an' Kurenai."

"Yeah, okay Ibiki."

The teacher went back to work, and Ibiki stood there a moment longer.

"Oi, you did a hell of a job training Uzumaki."

Iruka only smiled in response. "I'll see you later, Ibiki."


	5. Get Like Me

Friday evening. Both ninja and civilian clambered over one another to their assigned seats. It was the who's who of Konoha meeting under one roof in order to discuss matters of both military and homeland importance.

They were Konoha's council.

They met within the walls of the repurposed Uchiha Defense Department building. It had a low ceiling, but was wide and spacious; large enough to hold three hundred people.

The room was made mostly of expensive black mahogany, and crimson Konoha timber for the floor. The rest of the room was a hodge-podge of various chairs from different establishments and clan houses from all across the village.

Everyone had to bring their own chairs, as the building was no longer furnished.

The seats were arranged into two separate groups, allowing for a single aisle to run down the middle of the room to the front, where there was a simple wooden podium for their proposals.

And tonight? Danzou had the floor.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Inuzuka Tsume settled into her seat next to Nara Shukaku.

"Shit," she slumped down, her arms crossed and eyes narrowed. "Kiba got an F on his written practice exams, pups got loose, and I'm here getting ready to listen to the third proposal this _month _about how the demon needs to be untrained, tamed, or destroyed."

He continued to stare down at his proposal. _Request of official honorable or dishonorable discharge of the Nara clan from the Council._ It would be his third attempt this year.

"It's your own damn fault, Inuzuka-san."

"Che, we just wanted some say in what goes on around here. "

"And now you do," he responded shortly. "We all knew that trying to force a council would either incur his wrath or make him see y_our _reasons." He paused to think for a moment. "You do realize that every other village tried this at one time or another, and their kage reacted violently? Hell, that's what the Mist rebellion _was."_

_"_You study all this on your downtime, Nara?"

"Knowing the past ensures that you don't make the same mistakes as our predecessors did. And I studied that when I first found out that _you all _were going to try it." He finally turned to her, his face fixed in a that familiar Nara scowl. "The Sandaime wasn't going to react violently, you all knew that. You had to know that he would have retaliated somehow, though…"

For a moment, he gestured towards the hundred or so civilians taking their seats from across the aisle.

Tsume's head followed her peer's gesture.

"The best way to quell a rebellion is to give the other side exactly what they want, and then some more." The elite jounin stated resolutely. "The Sandaime gave you your council, but he filled it with nearly two hundred people with their own individual agendas, and then gave them all equal power."

She looked back at him with a raised eyebrow. "But I thought we were the ones that requested a civilian representation?"

"You _were. _And he obliged. And obliged. And then obliged some more. Everyone here has the freedom to propose a bill or an act, and if by some miracle we all agree, _then-"_

"The Sandaime will _consider _passing the act. I _know _how the council is supposed to work!" Tsume practically growled through her teeth. "Just because I'm a Inuzuka doesn't mean-"

Shikaku chuckled, and leaned back in his chair, resting his hands on his stomach. "Nine years, since I've known just about how the Sandaime would react."

"_Kami! _Why didn't you tell anyone?! That was when the council got started!"

"I wanted to see where he was going with it. He agreed far too easily...besides, it was far too troublesome to try and convince you blowhards that he was going to do something like this."

The woman sagged in her seat just a little bit more. "You're an asshole, Nara."

The man just laughed at that, and dropped his proposal in her lap. "You all started it, Inuzuka-san."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"You understand why you're here, Hatake Kakashi?"

They had made silver-haired Elite Jounin sit in a chair next to the podium. He recognized it as the Yamanaka's chair from their kitchen.

All of their chairs had flowers printed across them. This one had yellow daffodils.

It was kind of pretty, under the right light.

"Of course not," he said with a lazy wave, speaking with an airy pleasantness that was normally reserved for his special reading time. "What can I do for you all, fine council members?"

There was a decidedly deadly nonchalance about the way he handled himself. A dizzying sense of tension and killer intent, topped off with the coppery after taste of blood, all wrapped up by a single forehead protector over his right eye.

"Good." Danzou continued, purposefully ignoring the lazy waves of deadliness that seemed to permeate from the sluggish Jounin's body like a pungent sweat. "Jounin Kakashi, despite your agreement to train the Uchiha in a team, we ask that you focus all of your attention on him. It would be to Konoha's favor to have another well trained Uchiha on duty. We can agree on this, yes?"

Oh, but if Danzou could have seen his smile.

"Of course, honored council member."

"Then you agree to train Uchiha Sasuke then?"

"Council members," Hatake Kakashi started, his voice calm, loud and friendly. "I assure you...I will train the _shit _out of Uchiha Sasuke."

No one knew _quite _what to make of that, and so a room of hundreds became dead silent as the elite jounin remained sitting patiently, an invisible smile on his face.

"Ahh...Thank you for your...cooperation, Jounin Kakashi, that is all we ask of you."

"Well then, honored council members," He gave another wave and with that, he vanished in a tell-tale puff of smoke. "_Ja ne."_

The council remained silent, cowed by what had been the most bizarre showing in their years of meeting.

"Oi." Shikaku Naru broke the silence, and stood up from his seat again. "The Nara Clan would once again like to request a withdrawal from the clan council. _Please_."

And the regular proceedings continued once again.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Saturday!!!"

_Bangbangbangbangbang!!!_

"It's Saturday!!!"

_Bangbangbangbang!!!_

"Old man! Old man! It's Saturday! Come on! We gotta go! Lets go!"

Sautobi Hiruzen had been sitting there peacefully, leaning back and staring up at the ceiling in a daze. Yes, it was Saturday and that meant that Naruto had come to visit him.

Early.

"Come ooooooooon!" He heard the boy whine through the door. "We gotta go! This is gonna be _awesome!"_

Finally, Hiruzen got to his feet and swung the door open, taking care to ruffle the blonde boy's hair the same way he did every other week as he stepped past the bouncing child.

Instantly, Naruto was giggling madly at the sight of Hiruzen. "You got your old people clothes on today, huh?"

He was, of course, referring to the older man's striped sweater and corduroy pants.

With Naruto hopping excitedly alongside him, Sarutobi briefly wondered who he thought he was fooling, himself or Naruto-kun. Perhaps both?

He lied to the boy about why the village ignored him.

He told the boy that he had no family.

One day, all of this would come to a head, and Naruto-kun would find out the truth. Perhaps the boy would take it all in stride, and opt to protect his home in spite of losing everything he was entitled to; as a ninja, as a Namikaze, but most of all, as a human being.

Or perhaps on that day, Naruto-kun would turn his fervor against a village that had earned all of his wrath, plus interest.

Could spending a single day out of every week with the boy stem the tide of such powerful emotions?

"Hey! Old man! Come on!" Naruto had long ago shaken the hokage's hand off of his head, and instead began yanking the old man's arm with all his might.

"Forgive me, Naruto-kun." He smiled down at the boy. "Where are we going today?"

The boy gave Sarutobi his biggest smile, and pointed out towards the village with as much flair and pomp as one would expect from a twelve year-old on a sugar high."We're gonna play 'Get Like Me!'"

"Well, that requires more than two people, Naruto-kun."

Naruto only nodded. "I _know_, let's go get em then'!"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

He made his eggs with a hint of milk, pepper, salt, cheese, a few green peppers, a few bits of well-seasoned diced meat and a bit of olive oil. It was something of a hefty compound to mix with an egg beater, but he had done it every Saturday before now, and it was _always _delicious.

"_Damn, _it's good to have the day off." Iruka stretched his arms wide as the oil in the pan came to a sizzle. He'd finished all of his Academy reports, _including _the genin assignment proposals, which left him with a surplus of time on his hands.

It was about time, too.

He continued his Saturday morning tradition: grabbing his favorite book, slicing a grapefruit in half, pouring himself a glass of sweet passion fruit/Orange juice mix and setting them all on a tray to be carried into another room.

He poured the liquified egg mix onto the pan, briefly enjoying the collective scents of the ingredients all coming together in one euphoric aroma that made him salivate.

Everything in the pan swirled, congealed, and sizzled until it all came together in a tantalizing golden color accented by the hints of green and speckled with black. Undulations created by the beef, cheese, and fluffy texture caused the excess oil to shimmer and roll down flaxen hills of flavor.

'_They're...they're perfect…'_

Gingerly, the school teacher lifted the skillet from the stove to his tray, and with much care poured the contents of his exquisite meal onto the waiting plate.

He slipped into a chair, lifted the fork with his right hand, and opened the book with his left.

Iruka stabbed at the eggs, and proceeded to take a bi-

"Iruka."

The teacher flinched, and spun around in his chair, fork spun so that the pokers were facing outwards, and his body crouched in what was a defensive stance.

As quickly as he had appeared, Sarutobi slapped the fork out of his hand, and flicked the younger man in the forehead. "You have ten minutes to finish eating, Chunnin Iruka, and then you will meet Naruto-kun and I in Training Field One."

He vanished in a plume of smoke, and left the academy teacher staring down at his fork.

Iruka gave a heaving sigh, and with a self control that most ninja dreamed off, he walked to his bathroom so as to get washed and ready.

No one would ever know how he cried a little in the shower.

And that was before he found out that the hokage had taken his breakfast, as well.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Morino Ibiki pushed the sheets off of his scarred body, and soon found himself staring at the Hokage.

Sitting on the foot of his bed.

Watching him.

"Ibiki."

"H-Hokage--sama?" This had never happened before. "Is everything alright?"

Ibiki watched as the older man gave a heaving sigh, as though the interrogator had done something particularly terrible or annoying.

"Meet Naruto-kun, Chuunin Iruka and myself on Training Field One in ten minutes."

"But, Hokage-sama, this is my day off, isn't it?"

The man sitting on the foot on his bed laughed in a way that was eerily similar to the when the old man found out that Danzou was trying to create a council so many years ago.

And the situation would be dealt with in much the same way.

"Well then, Ibiki, I thank you for volunteering to spend your weekend with Naruto-kun. "

"But…-"

"I _thank _you, Ibiki."

Sarutobi vanished with a single hand-seal, leaving a thoroughly flustered interrogation specialist in his wake.

In the end, he summed it all up in one sentence.

"What the hell just happened?"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Finally arriving at Training Field One after the old man's 'errands', Sarutobi would be found sitting alongside Uzumaki Naruto under a tree, laughing as they both carved vertical notches into the trunk.

Naruto had five, while Hiruzen had three.

"When did you get three, old man? I mean, I know you just got Iruka-Sensei and Ibiki-san, so where'd the third one come from?"

"I took a _very _special Jounin's book away before he had a council meeting. It put him in an entertaining mood last night."

"Oh...That's pretty okay old man, it still doesn't beat mine though...I mean, I got the _whole _village!" Naruto spread his arms as far as he could, nearly clocking his partner in crime in the face.

He was of course, the Hokage, and blocked the wild swing like an expert.

"Yes you did." He gave the boy's hair another ruffle. "So you win this week, yes?"

"Yup! You owe me ramen!"

"So I do, Naruto-kun, so I do." He gave a sigh. "Help an old man to his feet, Naruto-kun?"

Sarutobi didn't have to ask twice. He never did. The short boy was on his feet in seconds, standing in front of the old man, and yanking his arms to get the hokage onto his feet again.

"Thank you." He pulled out two kunai, and held one out to Naruto, handle first. "Well then, Naruto-kun." With a flourish equal to a much, _much _younger man, he performed a backflip; at the highest point of his leap, he launched the kunai into the highest branch in the tree.

He landed easily on his feet, crouched like the smirking old monkey he was.

"Get like me, please."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Get like me...Ibiki!"

It was exactly like Sarutobi said...the second Iruka and Ibiki showed up...the _real _party started.

Ibiki simply gaped. How the _hell _was he supposed to make a jump like that? And how the _hell _was he supposed to fire an arrow, throw an axe, and a kunai at the same time?!

Those midgets were cheating.

"What's wrong scar face? Can't do it! Ya scared? Wanna quit?" Naruto yelled from his perch from above.

"You used chakra, you brat!"

"Did not! I used your _mom!"_

Rather than running three steps up the tree, performing a backflip from that tree onto another nearby tree, and finally jumping onto Naruto's branch, Ibiki opted for a more simple approach.

He threw the kunai at Naruto's branch with all his might.

_Thunk. Crrrrrack._

The blade impaled the bough up to its circular handle, and the previously sturdy branch gave in to the extra eighty or ninety pounds, and plummeted to the ground with a heaving _snap._

"Asshole!" Naruto yelped, just before he made like the branch, and _dropped._

No one tried to save him.

Ibiki, because he thought it was funny.

Iruka, because he cursed.

Sarutobi, because the boy was only seven feet off of the ground, and any student that couldn't land a seven foot drop so close to graduation wouldn't make it very far as a genin anyway.

In the end, it all came down to the unspoken consensus.

_'He'll be alright.'_

That was before, of course, the young Uzumaki rose from the rubble like a tiny orange woodland phoenix, and roared at the laughing old men. His fists flailing madly, he charged.

_- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -_

Uchiha scrolls wrapped tightly under his arm, as well as a brand new box of kunai and the usual expression of stoicism on his face, Sasuke made his way to Training Field Two.

'_If I'm going to beat Itachi, I have to get better with kunai.' _He gave himself a stiff nod. _'I can't keep underestimating my opponents either. Dobe...freaky bug guy...fan girl #3…'_

He found his thoughts shifting back to the free-for-all matches, specifically, to his fights with classmates he had previously dismissed as weak.

_'I won, but not by much.' _

He remembered something Iruka always said. "_If you are fighting alone and you barely defeat your opponent, then you are as good as dead. Defeating a Jounin means nothing if his team of genin can pick up where he left off. Sasuke, no one makes it very far when going it alone."_

Of course, he brought up Itachi as a retort. But Iruka just laughed that day, and said,-

_"YOU THINK THEY'LL SAVE YOU NARUTO!? THEY HIT LIKE--MY EYE!!! DAMMIT! MY EYE!"_

_"Ibiki-san, watch your lang- dammit, ouch!"_

What? No, that wasn't right.

What Iruka actually said was,"-

_"HA! My barbarians are kick ass! You see-owwwwww sensei!"_

_"No cursing!"_

Sasuke cut that line of thought altogether, and settled for finding out what all the noise was.

And fortunately for him, he was just close enough to make out what seemed to be…

...There was no way he was seeing this.

_No way._

_- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - _

"An ancient skilled passed down from the first hokage…" He flexed his right arm. "The second hokage!" His left arm. "And now I will show you, Naruto-kun!"

Standing on the branch, his knees bent, the old monkey made his move.

"The Third's elbow!" He leapt through the air with the greatest of ease, twisting his body around in the air so that he would hit Naruto elbow first, and land on his hip.

"Nooooooooooo!!!" The boy's arms were being pressed to the ground by Ibiki, and Iruka had his legs.

"Ahahahaha!" Came a laugh that sounded very little like Iruka...mostly because it was rare to hear the friendly teacher laugh, much less maniacally. "We've got you figured out, Naruto-kun! _Your _little friends can only attack when you do! You slippery toad!"

Naruto suddenly began giggling, even as the Hokage's elbow knocked the wind out of his lungs.

For some reason, the thought of Umino Iruka dressed as a super villain with the traditional handlebar mustache, black cape, and black fedora came to mind.

He could barely choke out a laugh, even if the old man cushioned his blow with chakra...it still hurt like hell, and he would _definitely _have a bruise.

Iruka and Ibiki released him, and Naruto struggled back to his feet.

"I ain't done yet!"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The _dobe _was sparring with Iruka, Ibiki, _and _the Hokage?

'_They think that highly of Uzumaki Naruto? The class idiot?' _He shook his head. _'No. His grades don't matter...they looked like they were having fun too.'_

And for a split second, Uchiha Sasuke wanted nothing more than to join them.

And then his mind flashed back to a point in his life when he had sparred with Itachi...when he sparred with his father…

Then his mother would make them lunch and….and...

He didn't have time to play around...he had to get better at kunai throwing.

He _had _to beat Itachi.

But before that, he _had _ to become a genin. He _had to _get ready.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Hiruzen, Ibiki, Iruka, and Naruto soon found themselves sitting at Ichiraku Ramen; all of them eating in relative silence as they enjoyed their meals, mostly because their throats were sore from yelling.

The Third, once he had eaten his fill, was the one to break the silence.

"Naruto, are you ready for the exams this year?"

The boy turned to Hiruzen, and smiled as wide as he could. It was amazing that for all his injuries: the black eye, the missing tooth, the bruise running down his arm...he managed to smile _that _smile.

The one that made Hiruzen believe that this time…maybe this time...The boy could do it.

What Naruto said solidified the old man's belief in him.

"Old man, _I was born for this! _This year, I'll definitely graduate!"

The boy went back to his meal just as quickly, and a left a smiling old man to his thoughts.

'_Yes, Naruto-kun, you definitely will, this time.'_

_- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -_

And it was also with that thought that Sarutobi revisited his office that night. He rifled through a short stack of papers, stopped at Iruka's report, and put his pen to the paper.

_Uzumaki Naruto: Proved himself impressively flexible, which causes me to retract my previous report. Uzumaki Naruto is not entirely inept in close combat, and is apparently highly diverse in ranged combat._

_In short, he seems to be skilled in avoidance and retaliation attacks in short range combat. Although his noisiness leaves much to be desired, he has grown in an unexpected way. It is recommended that his exam be waived, and he be placed under Hatake Kakashi or Sarutobi Asuma._

_**Denied.**_

_**Signed: Sarutobi Hiruzen.**_


	6. Test Number Two

_Creeeeak._

_"Oh! Look at that, son! You made it! It's no surprise, honestly._

_Creeeeeak._

_"Now now, dear, there's always next year. We love you anyway, okay?"_

_Creeeeeeak._

_"Sakura! You did it! The first Haruno ninja!"_

_Creeeeeeak._

_"It's a good thing that boy didn't pass...imagine that! He's an animal, that boy!"_

_Creeeeeeeak._

"Naruto-kun?"

"Hm?" He never looked up, but he knew the voice. "Mizuki-sensei?" The boy kept his tip toes planted against the ground, swaying lazily from side to side, and held the sides of the swing tight. He would not cry.

_He would not cry._

"You shouldn't feel bad about _failing_, Naruto-kun." Mizuki felt a distinct tinge of pleasure at seeing the child flinch at his words. "Iruka doesn't want you to go out and get killed, so he will always be harder on you than anyone else. He's protecting you, Naruto-kun."

Naruto nodded. He never doubted that Iruka cared about him, it was just that…

"Mizuki-sensei, I'm that bad of a student?"

"No. Just a poor test taker." Naruto couldn't see the malicious intent behind the sincere smile scrawled across his teachers face. "But don't worry, I found another practical test for you to take."

"Really? _Really!?"_ With barely a thought, Naruto was off the swing, and suddenly clutching Mizuki's vest, looking up at him with wide eyes.

He never caught the twitch of the man's eye. The disgust that flashed _very _briefly across Mizuki's face.

"Oh...I don't know. Naruto, this exam might actually be a little tougher…"

"I don't care! I _gotta _become a genin this year! I promised the old man!" He took a deep, shuddering breath.

_I will not cry._

"Mizuki-sensei, I gotta pass. No matter what."

The silver haired teacher nodded and leaned down in front of his student, making sure to catch the boy's eyes.

For a moment, he idly wondered how the eyes of a demon could be so blue.

"Well then, you have to sneak into the Hokage's tower...and in his office, is a forbidden scroll. It is about your size. As long as you learn a single jutsu from that scroll and show it to Iruka or myself by sunrise, then you will pass. You must to do all of your studying at the edge of the village, near training ground seventeen, do you understand?"

"R-right! I got it! No problem, Mizuki-sensei! Thanks! You won't regret it!"

The boy turned and ran off, leaving a smiling Mizuki sensei in his wake.

"I won't...but you certainly will, Naruto."

- - - - - - - - - - - -

"Hokage sama! What's going on?! Did Naruto really steal the forbidden scroll?! How could he have gotten it out of your office?"

"Chunnin Iruka. Please, have a seat."

_He got inside the tower fairly easily; after all, Uzumaki Naruto was a very common sight for the various secretaries and cryptology experts on most days. And it was made very clear to them: You harass Uzumaki Naruto and he found out? Sarutobi would have them fired or eliminated._

_And the word eliminate covered a wide spectrum of punishments._

_So even when Naruto showed up late that night, no one thought to ask why._

_He didn't even have to start sneaking until he reached the door of the Hokage himself, and that didnt last long. He barely got one step into the pitch black room before a voice stopped him dead in his tracks._

_"Naruto-kun. I suppose there is little time for pleasantries."_

_The blonde haired student stared at the silhouette of the Hokage sitting on his desk, visible only because of the moonlight filtering in from the window. The old man extended a large cylindrical object to the boy._

_"Make haste, child. There's not much time."_

_"Th-thanks old man." Wasn't he supposed to sneak in and steal it? No matter, he had to hurry if he was going to learn one of the super secret techniques from the scroll._

_Yet when he grasped the scroll, and tried to take it from the old man, he found it nigh impossible. The Hokage's grip was tight like he imagined a gorillas would be._

_"Naruto. Whatever happens, I want you to stay strong, be who you are, and remember that there are people here who love you no matter what."_

_"-Ol-old man?"_

_The Hokage's grip released, and Naruto stumbled back, the scroll in hand._

_"Go Naruto. Quickly! I will have to alert the chunnin soon."_

_"R-right!"_

_A nod, and the boy tore out of the room, the scroll embraced in his arms as he made his desperate dash to training ground seventeen._

_He ran._

_Then ran._

_And ran some more._

_He ran until his legs were pumping battery acid and his body was slick with sweat. It took him months to master kwaramari and the henge properly…and if that was the case, he had absolutely no time to waste in learning a super secret technique._

_Naruto came to a skidding halt on the slick grass. He had no idea of whether or not he'd been followed..but none of that mattered…_

_There was no time._

_He was tired, exhilarated and nervous. All off of those feelings wrapped themselves in a tight little knot, and caught in his throat. Leaving desperation to rattle his little bones and squeeze his stomach._

_"I gotta pass. I gotta pass for the old man."_

_He slapped the scroll down on the grass with as much desperation as he felt, and rolled it open. There was no time to pick and choose...he would have to go with the first technique he saw._

_"Ka-ge Bunshin?!" His eyes widened. "Damn it! Damn damn DAMN!"_

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Sarutobi shifted the crystal ball so that Iruka could watch his student, and like a fish lured by a worm, the all seeing crystal had the young man's rapt attention…

And Hiruzen made sure he had the teacher's ear.

"Iruka. This is a mandate."

The young man gave only a nod as he continued watching.

"You will not move from this chair until I say so."

_That _got his attention, and Iruka slowly looked up from the crystal to his Hokage's eyes. "Hokage-sama?"

"If there is a thought that is applicable to Naruto, it is this. That which starts sweet ends bitter, and that which starts bitter, ends sweet."

"What are you-"

The Hokage held up a hand, and the chunnin felt silent.

"Watch, listen, and learn, Iruka-kun. You have had a say in the boy's progress for a long while, and that is your only viewpoint. Now, you will see him differently."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

_You stop and you look at Naruto-kun with honest eyes, and you do not see a traditional ninja. You look at the bright orange jump suit...at the blonde hair….the whiskers...everything about him is bright and friendly, but most of all, happy. This, Umino Iruka, is a lie._

Mizuki dropped down in front of the Naruto, two windmill shuriken strapped tightly to his back. Two kunai holsters on each thigh. A pad of explosive tags, a bag of caltrops, a vial of sleeping powder, all running the gamut along his belt.

He wasn't dressed to teach. He was dressed for war.

"Ne, Mizuke-sensei...I learned a technique!" The young boy, haggard, dusty, and scratched as he was, stood tall with a wide smile on his face. He had passed, he had _passed! _

_But Naruto-kun is not at all as friendly as he thinks he's being. He is not sunshine, and above all else, Naruto kun is not happy._

"That's good, Naruto. That's very good...Now, I have a special prize for you." He leaned down, and beckoned the boy closer. "It's a really cool secret that only a few of us know."

Instantly, the boy bounded closer, eager to gather his prize.

Mizuki lowered his left hand into his kunai pouch.

_Sit down, Chunnin Iruka. Listen. Let this incident see its natural conclusion. What no one ever really notices about Naruto is the way he is dressed and the way he acts._

_Yes, I know what I said, and I am aware of the paradox, thank you._

_Really, he more or less resembles a poisonous reptile. Let's say a poisonous toad. The bright orange and sunny smile are actually telling you to stay away, because for god's sake, if you touch him with bare hands, he will kill you. That Chunnin Iruka, is the truth._

"Haven't you ever wondered about why everyone treats you in this badly, Naruto-kun? See, it all has to do with your birthday."

"W-what do you mean?"

Mizuki shuddered. The fear and confusion in the demon child's voice was palpable, thick with worry. Delicious.

"Well, you know how the anniversary of the defeat of the Kyuubi is that day? The Kyuubi wasn't actually defeated...the Yondaime couldn't stop something that size…"

"Wh-what?! But the Yondaime could beat anything! He was unstoppable!"

The words were there, but they came out empty. Weak. He had always known _something _was wrong.

"Not that day he wasn't. You think he suddenly gained super chakra powers? You think he just evaporated the Kyuubi? Cute...but no. He sealed the Kyuubi away…in _you!"_

_SIT DOWN, Chunnin Iruka. Listen to what I am saying. _

_No, he does not need us. Not yet, anyway. Please, trust me, trust him, and trust that you taught him well enough to make it through this._

_It is the truth because it is how he sees himself. He has spent his life being ignored and talked about, so as most children do, he thinks it his own fault. He knows that there is something wrong with him. He sees little worth in himself, and he sees ultimate worth in the village._

_And personally, Chunnin Iruka? He's got it backwards._

_I would rather see him dead, then as a weapon for this village. And tonight, he will make that choice for himself._

Naruto stumbled backwards from Mizuki, landing painfully on his behind as he stared up at his now malevolent teacher.

"Wh-what?! N-no...I..._how?!_" The house of cards that was Naruto's composure met Mizuki's words, and crumpled. The boy began shivering uncontrollably, and tears began streaming down his face.

It _all _made sense. The weird seal on his stomach. The whispers. The people calling him an animal...calling him the demon child when they thought they couldn't hear him. His teeth growing back overnight...his bruises vanishing in hours.

'_I...I can't be...Kami, no…'_

Oh, but Mizuki was enjoying seeing the previously unflappable Uzumaki Naruto _flap _as his little world of orange was torn apart by the truth.

He continued to stand over Naruto, and drew a single kunai.

"You haven't wondered why Iruka hated you? That's the real kicker..._everyone _here hates you. Yeah...even the old man...even the Hokage."

_Not yet, Iruka. Naruto is stronger then you or I know. I promise. Let him be._

"N-no!" Naruto swiftly stood to his feet...he was still shaken...still confused...still scared. But he wasn't alone. "Not the old man...Not Iruka-sensei!"

"Oh ho. He doth protest much." Mizuki chuckled, the kunai still in hand. "Just calm down and die. Face it, no one in that village would care. Either give me the scroll, or die here, Kyuubi."

"N-no!"

_'I can't….The old man trusted me…I gotta….'_

"I was hoping you would say that, demon! You know how _proud _Iruka'll be when I slice your neck open?!"

_He trusted me…_

_'And if I were a demon...the old man wouldn't give me something so important if I were the demon fox, would he? Why would he do that?'_

Mizuki swiped the kunai down at Naruto, leaving a shallow slice running vertically down the boys arm.

"S-stop!" The words came out in a shrill distortion of his voice. He could barely hear his own thoughts over roar of the blood rushing through his head. He tried to run, but he couldn't get his legs to move.

_'Why would he tell me that there were people that loved me? Who would love a demon? Who would spend time with me? If...If I am what he says I am then…'_

Mizuki dropped the the kunai at the boys head.

_'Then I'm…If the old man trusted me then…'_

The blade met metal with a sharp clang, and the white haired traitors eyes became bewildered...confused.

_'I'm…'_

"I'm Uzumaki Naruto, damn it!"

An explosion of sparks rang from the collision of Naruto and Mizuki's kunai. The boy was easily pushed back in their contest of strength. The sacred scroll was sent flying out of Naruto's arms…and the boy smiled.

"No… you're dead. I'll kill you in one shot." Mizuki sneered.

"Yeah? I'll take you down in a thousand shots!"

_"What?"_

Narutos formed the seal that he had been practicing easily...instinctively. He hadn't expected it, but this jutsu came to him like walking did to an infant.

"Lemme know if I pass, _Sensei! Kage Bunshin no jutsu!"_

The forest was suddenly alive with the color orange, a writhing mass of _hundreds _ of jeering Narutos all yelling for Mizuki to come finish what he started. And at the feet of every single kage bunshin, stood a two foot barbarian. The axes, enormous in their hands, their voices coming together with the kage bunshin to create a hymn of bloodlust and roars.

This was _their _war.

Mizuki felt it. He felt it deep in his veins. He remembered the day that they announced that the Kyuubi was coming, the tribal drum that beat at his heart as Konoha prepared for battle.

Suddenly, he was six years old and defenseless against an unstoppable enemy.

He screamed. A high, blood curdling sound that came as someone's final defense against the invincible. A sound that was _nothing _when compared to the multitude of one boy and his soldiers.

Mizuki found himself paralyzed as the Narutos bore down on him in much the same way a tidal wave does a boat. Axes and fists and arrows rained down on Mizuki all the same, again and again, until the screaming stopped.

The only sound left was the deafening cry of victory.

_Go and see to the boy, Iruka._

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Iruka had to admire the damage done to the field by the clones and the barbarians...kunai, arrows, and axes littered the field and cracked the ground. Ruined trees creaked noisily as they struggled to keep standing against the wind, and a small child sat next to the traitors broken, mangled body, the scroll in his hands.

"Naruto…"

"Ne, Iruka? Am I really demon?"

The young man smiled.

"Nah, it's stuffed in the seal on your stomach."

"Oh...that's messed up." The boy frowned as he finally stood up. He was exhausted. "I gotta take this back to the old man."

Iruka took a step closer.

"Do you need to talk about it?"

"I need to sleep, Sensei."

"Okay."

Naruto began walking back towards the village.

"Hey, Naruto?"

He stopped.

"Yeah sensei?"

"You kicked some serious ass. You pass."

Naruto nodded. "Kick ass, sensei." He tried to laugh, but he couldn't seem to get it past the knot in his throat. He settled for a cough. _Kami, _he was tired. "See ya tomorrow."

Iruka gave a silent wave, and watched the boy walk off towards a tower silhouetted by a rising sun.


	7. Ultraviolent

_"Naruto!" YOU are the demon fox! YOU killed Iruka's parents! They hate you! They hate you, and they'll never forgive you! They hate what you are, and they hate what you will be!"_

_Mizuki laughed as he dropped the kunai down onto the boy's lowered head._

_He'd given up. It was over. He deserved to die for what he was._

His damp body met the cool morning air as he sat up, gasping. Eyes darting around wildly, he took stock of everything in his room. This was the third time he'd had that stupid nightmare with Mizuki in it.

He took a deep breath, and squeezed his eyes closed again. "There's nothin' here, Naruto." He opened them, and turned his head to catch sight of his alarm clock, briefly catching a glimpse of silver in the shadows.

Oh, but he wished he hadn't just seen that.

"4:41. Gotta go back t'sleep," he muttered. He glanced back at the glittering silver, and quickly turned his head to the ceiling.

Naruto gave a sigh, and slumped back against the pillow.

"Go away." He muttered.

The glint in the shadows became a smile, the familiar rusted forehead protector sitting across invisible eyes, adding just a hint of menace to its mystery.

"So they never told you what was inside you." Its words were supposed to sound sad. Instead, they sounded wet and sickly like Naruto imagined it would look under the clothes. "You've come so far in so little time."

"Shut up." Naruto felt small. Maybe it was because of the fox...or what Mizuki said...it was just that having so much responsibility made the world seem so much larger very, _very _suddenly. "Old man said I shouldn't listen to you. You're crazy."

It poked at its teeth with the sharp thing, and laughed its rasping, drowning laugh. "You should think for yourself. I wonder...do you really think I'm crazy?" It sniffled a bit. "The way you fought with those....Shadow clones were they? Uzumaki, you were beautiful out there."

The way it said it brought back thoughts of the day Naruto first saw the old man sparring against another Jounin. It spoke as though what it saw was reverent...glorious in the same way people saw the Yondaime.

"The thing about those clones? Did you notice how more barbarians came with the technique?"

Naruto nodded. His eyes never left the ceiling. "They are tied to all things combat, sworn to help you fight forever. Riddle me this though, Uzumaki. What if you had hundreds of thousands more barbarians that didn't vanish?"

"Go away. Now."

"An army that would obey you unquestioningly...you point, and they'll go. Kill for you. Die for you."

"Go. Away."

A sharp hissing sound was made, interrupted only by the thing's heavy breathing. It took Naruto a moment to realize that it was laughing.

"The more you refuse, the more I want you to lead us into battle...those Barbarians are so lucky." More laughter. "You're so small, but strong like nothing I've ever seen. Ohhh, Uzumaki Warchild… it has a ring to it, doesn't it?"

The blonde-haired boy never responded. Maybe if he ignored the thing long enough, it would leave.

"You hear me, but you aren't listening yet, but that's okay. You can only grow stronger from here...show me more of your strength, Uzumaki. Show us why we want to follow you so badly."

The creature disappeared, and the night remained as silent as it had been before it had been interrupted by the unnatural being.

The promise of power at the cost of a life of war...or a dream of becoming Hokage that was marred by the existence of a seal on his stomach.

"I can still do it..." He closed his eyes again, and finally drifted off to sleep uninterrupted. "Believe it."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Sasuke had a dream. Nightmare. Whatever what one calls the same reoccurring _night vision _that'd been happening since the massacre.

They used to scare him. He used to spend nights crying, clutching his eyes and begging for them to stop seeing what they saw.

But in that curious way that the human mind worked, he got used to it. He learned to thrive on them. He learned to expect them.

And while he couldn't combat images of his father with a slit throat, his mother with stabbed very efficiently through the heart, and cousins charred alive wholesale or the cute girl across the street dismembered and strewn about the district, all of these things helped him to remember who he was and _why _he was.

He was an avenger.

This was fact. Like saying the sun would rise.

Sasuke would kill Itachi.

That was all there was to it. This was life now.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Sakura had a dream too.

The next day, she would tell her friends about how she had the sweetest dream. About how her and Sasuke were getting married, and all the flowers would be pink and vibrant. (Ino would stop her here and say that all pink would be ugly. Sakura would then say that _she _was ugly.)

Sakura really had a dream of being more than kunoichi. She had a dream about being more then a seductress...a geisha with a really small knife in her hair. No. She wanted to be great. Like the great Tsunade.

Sakura, the delightful pinkette, wanted to make the battlefield shake when she stomped onto the scene.

She wanted to breathe fire and throw rocks.

She would spend her morning huffing, sighing, and fixing her hair for a boy she didn't actually want.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Jounin Hatake Kakashi had a dream too, but his was a lot like Sasuke's.

People he could never protect, the world that he knew and loved crumbling into blackened ash.

He saw this dream, and he accepted it. He was resigned to it happening again and again. A carousel of pain that he would keep riding forever.

Kakashi didn't ride for any more then an three or four hours every night. Then he got up and drank and read Icha Icha until he could sleep a dreamless sleep again.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The class was alive with the sounds of excitement.

Umino Iruka smiled to himself as he surveyed the class silently from behind his desk, and he couldn't have felt more proud of the students that he saw.

And so, in what would be the only day they remembered as Iruka starting late, he allowed them a little more time to speak and play with each other.

Okay, so he was mostly stalling the class so that Naruto wouldn't arrive _too _late.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Sasuke would have never admitted to anyone how annoyed he was that Naruto had failed the academy test. First, it meant that he nearly lost to someone who couldn't perform a simple jutsu like bunshin.

But his major issue was simply the fact that this meant that there were less people in the room that could challenge him. Nobody to test his strength against.

Kiba? An idiot.

Sakura? A joke.

Hinata? Weak. Scared.

Chouji? Big. Slow.

And secretly, he found that fighting Naruto was more enjoyable than anyone else. The kid was unpredictable...and every time they fought, Sasuke learned something new that he could improve on.

As Naruto got better, he got better.

The dobe was, quite literally, a measuring stick for him. So ideally, he wanted Uzumaki on his team more than anyone else.

Shino would also be good tho-

"Oi, check it out." The class broke into murmurs, and Sasuke was torn from his reflections to find the rest of the class whispering and muttering as they watched Uzumaki Naruto walk into the class without a forehead protector.

Most of them laughed.

Sasuke, for the first time since arriving to the academy, smiled.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Neh, Iruka-sensei, I'm here!" Naruto said, his hand raised in the air, waving as though Iruka wasn't sitting seven feet away from the door. "I made it!"

His clothes were still haggard, and a long jagged tear running down his right sleeve, and his eyes were half lidded.

The boy hadn't gotten very much sleep.

"Oi, Naruto!" Kiba suddenly yelled. "Ain't ya hear? Only the students that got their forehead protectors get to come to class today! Get outta the room, dead last!"

Again, more students laughed.

"Why you-!" The blonde boy stalked towards Kiba's row, his fist clenched and eyes narrowed.

"Naruto!" Iruka interrupted, and the boy immediately halted in his tracks. "Remove your goggles please."

"Uh...But I..." Seeing Iruka's stern expression, Naruto sighed, and did as he was told. "Now what, sen-huh?"

Before he could finish the expression, Iruka tossed the boy a forehead protector...though it was a little weird compared to everyone else's. The cloth behind the steel plate was orange, and there, centered beneath the symbol of the Konoha Leaf were three small, stylized animals. One of a monkey playing, one of a dolphin leaping, and one of a frog jumping.

"Um...Sensei?"

Iruka never missed a beat, and despite the smirk running along the teacher's face, his tone remained stoic. "Kiba-kun is right, Naruto-kun. Don't take a step further into this room until you are wearing Konoha's forehead protector."

With a smile that would brighten the rest of Iruka's week, Naruto expertly tied the forehead protector to his head quickly, and rushed to the only available seat at the time, next to Yamanaka Ino.

He ignored a brief nod from a smirking Uchiha for his trouble, because Sasuke was sitting next to Sakura in the _front row._

_Of course the bastard had to be smug about it._

Finally, Iruka addressed the class with a clear voice. "I suppose I may as well cut to the chase today. Genin of Konoha, your Jounin instructors will be here to pick you up within the hour, and it is with them that you will begin your service as Genin Ninja of Konoha."

He smiled a bit wider as the class broke into cheers of excitement. He noted the lazy smirk on Naruto's face as the boy slumped in his seat. He wouldn't be awake for much longer, that was for sure.

"Now, that being said, these are your three man team assignments for the year."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Team 7: Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke, and Haruno Sakura. Your Jounin instructor will be Hatake Kakashi. Your designation is heavy combat."

Sasuke smirked, and nodded slowly. Sakura was cheering wildly. Naruto remained face-planted on the desk asleep, a string of drool trailing from his lips to the desk, and from the desk to the floor.

Although if he were awake, he might have cheered.

"Sasuke-kun, inform Naruto-kun of the arrangements as soon he wakes up, please?"

A nod from Sasuke, and Iruka was back to reading from the sheet.

"Team 8: Inuzuka Kiba, Hyuuga Hinata, and Aburame Shino. Your Jounin Instructor is Yuuhi Kurenai. Your designation is Search and Destroy."

He skipped over Team 9...to be honest, he had no idea what the hell they were up to, he knew it was shameful, though...a group of genin that had remained genin for nearly four years.

"Team 10: Yamanaka Ino, Nara Shikamaru, and Akamicji Choji. Your Jounin instructor is Sarutobi Asuma. Your team designation is Infiltration and Espionage.

He took the time to give his class a final once over, noting the excitement and disappointed faces running all throughout the room.

This was it...ground zero.

"Well, behave yourselves." Iruka spoke clearly, a proud smile crossing his face. "You Jounin sensei will be here to meet with you any minute now, and you want to make a good impression, don't you?"

The class' only response was to erupt into cheers.

They had done it…

They _made it!_

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

So, Sasuke honestly had no idea who Haruno Sakura was. He knew she…He knew it was supposed to be on his team, but that he didn't know it's name concerned him.

Uchiha Sasuke only learned the names of people that were worth fighting. Or that he found amusing to look at.

So not only was Haruno Sakura a bad ninja, but she was also uninteresting to look at.

Loser.

Even worse, it seemed like the second Iruka had announced the teams, this pink haired girl showed up at his desk and started harassing him about one thing or another. Honestly, he barely heard anything past the words _Sasuke-kuuuun! _Which was the introduction to a fan-girl speech.

Of course, he had no idea that she'd been sitting next to him the whole time. Regardless, he soon found himself thrust back into reality when he ran out of ways to kill Itachi when he found him.

So he was forced to react.

"Tch...you're annoying. Go away."

"Wh-what?"

"Shouldn't you be with your team? Go to your team." Sasuke paused, and cocked his head curiously at the pink haired girl. What kind of ninja had pink hair, anyway? What kind of _human _had pink hair?

"Sasuke-kuuun! We need to go out and get to know each other! We're on the same team!"

He stared at her for a bit, his eyes narrowed in a way that made the girl blush the color of her hair.

"Are we?" His brows furrowed. "What's your name again?"

"Y-you don't even know my name!? We've been in class together for the past several _years! _And I'm on _your _team!"

It was to this that Naruto opened his eyes, the world blurred for a moment, and the sounds came at him in a rush. Was Sakura-chan always that loud?

Sasuke seemed taken aback for a moment, his eyes searching hers again, his lips pursed. How the _hell _was he supposed to remember "random useless girl 1" from "random useless girl 2?"

She giggled. Sasuke-kun was giving her so much attention today!

"Tch." He snapped his head towards the teammate sitting above them both. "You up, Uzumaki?"

"No." Naruto's voice was thick with drowsiness. He found himself looking down at Haruno Sakura, long pink hair and red dress, pretty forehead and all. "Hey, hey! Sakura-chan! Were you watching me while I slept? That's kinda romanti-"

"Don't get such stupid ideas!" She snapped, and stalked away from both boys to the other side of the classroom. She needed to sulk. "He knows stupid Naruto..but...not me? I'll kick both their asses, cha!"

Naruto watched as the girl suddenly pumped her fist into air with a decidedly maniacal expression on her face, and wisely turned back around. As his head whirled around, he caught sight of the class and the many clamoring students. Nearly half of the students seemed to have been missing. Kiba, Hinata, and Shino were already gone, leaving a few kids whose names he had never bothered to learn, along with Shikamaru and Choji sitting next to each other, mumbling to themselves.

Ino was yelling at them both.

"Uzumaki."

"Eh? What the hell do you want, bast-...what did you call me?" Naruto turned to face the Uchiha, only find _him_ staring out the window.

"Can't be a dobe if we aren't in school any more." He said, simply. "We're on a team together."

"Eh? Aren't we supposed to be on a team of three?"

"The pink haired girl-"

"-_Sakura-chan!_"

"Yes. _That. _Shesays that she's on our team, as well. Our Jounin sensei is Hatake Kakashi."

Naruto kept staring at the boy, his eyes scrunched together as though he were trying to see something that he may have missed about the suddenly talkative Uchiha Sasuke.

Nope. Still a bastard.

"Why the hell are _you _talking to me?" The blonde genin knew that Sasuke hadn't necessarily been _mean _all the time_, b_ut still, the Uchiha usually had the poise and temperament of someone who believed himself better than everyone else.

Why else would he ignore everyone but Iruka-sensei? Why else would he always call him a the dead last all the time?

Because he was a _bastard._

"You nearly got me." The words came out concisely, and with a nearly indecipherable grin. The last Uchiha steepled his fingers in a way reminiscent to the sandaime and leaned forward. "You'll help me achieve my ambition if you keep getting stronger."

"Eh? But-" The blonde's eyes widened, but before he could finish his question, Hatake Kakashi stuck his head through the doorway.

He spoke in the friendly tone he was well known for. "Team Seven?"

Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura immediately stood to their feet.

For a split second Sasuke felt the Jounin's killer intent clearly. His knees grew week, and he quickly took his seat before he lost control of his bladder as well. He knew this feeling well…

'Itachi…'

Naruto remained standing. Defiant, but petrified. His arms and legs trembling, his face fixed into a frown, he was terrified, and couldn't have moved if he wanted to. Still…

'I'm Uzumaki Naruto, dammit!'

Sakura was a deer caught in the headlights. She didn't know _what _this was, but she decided very quickly that she didn't like it. She shrunk back into her seat.

"Well, my first impression of you guys is...you all look ridiculous sitting there like that. Meet me on the roof."

He vanished in a plume of smoke and leaves.

Sasuke, Naruto and Sakura continued staring at the doorway silently, intently.

'This guy…' Naruto thought to himself. 'This guy's a _real_ ninja.'

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"_Jounin Kakashi. Your proposal...it strikes me as unusual."_

"_How so, Hokage-sama?"_

He had investigated the area the day he found out who his team was. The academy roof was the _perfect _starting point. Directly behind where his new cute students sat, there was the doorway which lead to the stairwell, back into the academy. There were several cloth canopies that hung off the east side of the academy building, and the fall from there would be about twenty feet. Directly opposite those canopies, on the other side of the roof, there were several conjoined buildings, with little to no risk of falling out onto the city streets.

"Okay." Kakashi stated with a clap of his hands, smiling, and sitting in front of the three genin. "Before I let you all go, I want to learn a little about each of you. So please state your likes, dislikes and dreams for the rest of us."

Naruto's hand snapped out above the group.

"Hey! Hey! Sensei! Can I go first?!"

He smiled and nodded. "Of course, Naruto-kun."

"_You want an entire city block cleared, Kakashi. Should I start there? It seems like a good jumping point for the word unusual and its association to the test that you've just described to me."_

"_Hokage sama, if this is about the funding of such a small scale evacuation, I have set aside a good amount of money in order to pay for any and all damages."_

"_Damages?"_

"I'm Uzumaki Naruto! I like ramen, the old man, Iruka Sensei, and sometimes scarface!" He nodded to himself. "I dislike the two minutes it takes to make ramen, and being underestimated!" Suddenly, he was on his feet, and his fist shot into the air. "And for my dream? I'm gonna take the old man's hat, and become the Godaime Hokage!"

Kakashi nodded with a wide smile on his masked face. "A big dream for such a young ninja." He gestured to Sakura.

The pink haired girl giggled, and spoke just as excitedly as Naruto did. "My name is Haruno Sakura, and I like…" She trailed off, and began blushing and giggling. "My dream is to…" More blushing. More giggling. "And I dislike Naruto!"

"Awwww, Sakura-chan!"

"Shut it!"

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. Rin would have slapped the sense back into this girl's head moments after meeting her.

"_Hokage sama. I have you, the council, and a pair of pink haired civilians demanding that I train these kids to the best of my ability, and for once, I agree with all three. The last wielder of the sharingan, the vessel of the Kyuubi, and some civilian- look, the point is that if I am to train them properly, it will not be in the same way as every one else. Hokage sama, by the Chunin exams, they will not be ready to fight genin…They will be ready to go to war."_

"_...You can't expect me to agree to this insanity, Kakashi. They are only children...what you are proposing...this goes beyond Itachi's or even your own Black Ops training! This goes beyond Danzou's treatment of the Ne."_

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke. There are a few things I like, and a lot of things I dislike." Suddenly, Sasuke was staring through Kakashi to a past that he longed to forget. "My dream….no..._ambition_ is to kill a certain man."

Had any of the genin been able to see his face, they might have been unnerved by the way Kakashi was smiling. It was more of a wolfish leer, really; with bared teeth and all.

"Your final exam is now." He stated resolutely. "In order to become recognized ninja of Konoha you must pass my test."

"Hey! This is so unfair! You think you can just tell us we're not genin?!" Naruto yelled. Sakura began nodding vigorously alongside him.

"Hm? Yeah." The silver haired Jounin spoke airily, entirely unconcerned with the shortest genin's spiel. "Oh. Don't worry, the rules are simple." He continued, as though he weren't staring at three bewildered children who looked for all the world like Christmas had been cancelled. "Sasuke-kun, you may only save Sakura-chan. Sakura-chan, you may only save Naruto-kun. Naruto-kun, you may only save Sasuke-kun."

They began glancing at each other warily as the Jounin continued.

"You will meet up in a clearly marked section of Baker and 3rd street in...oh…" He glanced up at the sun. "One hour."

For an awkward moment, the three stared at the one.

"By the way," Kakashi gestured towards the sun again. "I meant one hour from now."

"What-"

"_He is the son of a hero, Hokage-sama...Uchiha is the brother of one, as well. I gave my word...I swore to Minato-sensei that his son would be taken care of and well trained when my time came. I swore to Itachi-kun that I would keep an eye out for Sasuke. This is my chance to make good on those promises. Let me train them my way, Hokage, and I promise nothing short of perfection in your eyes."_

"_...I will expect monthly reports on all of their progress."_

"_Anything you ask, Hokage-sama."_

Kakashi _moved._ At first, the Jounin was sitting, and then he was in front of Naruto, his fist flashing out in front of him and meeting the boy's whiskered face with a sickening crack.

The blonde never had a chance to respond properly, as the silver haired jounin grabbed the boy by his broken nose, yanked him towards the ledge left of the group, and _shoved._

Naruto, dazed and in more pain then he'd ever felt while conscious, was sent tumbling over the edge.

"Uzumaki!" Sasuke jumped to his feet, but Kakashi had his knee buried in the dark haired boy's stomach just as easily. Once. Twice. Three times. He rammed his knee into the boy's gut until Sasuke was dry heaving, wheezing, and crying at the same time. Grabbing the front of the boy's high collar, he clenched it in his fist, and yanked the wheezing Sasuke upright, just before he flung the boy down the academy stairway.

He briefly enjoyed hearing the sound of a stumbling Uchiha trying to stay upright, just before meeting with the bottom of the stairwell face first with a resounding _smack_.

"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura shrieked and stumbled to her feet, and immediately covered her mouth. 'What if he comes after me-'

A swift backhand to the girl's face sent her spiraling back into her seat, and she felt a hand wrench itself into her hair. He yanked her from the seat by her hair, having little trouble moving the Haruno, despite her constant kicking and screaming.

Kakashi stopped dragging as soon as he reached the edge of the building.

With a mighty tug, he tossed her off the ledge with little care for how she landed on the awkward landing of a conjoined building. Kakashi released the the stray clumps of the girl's hair into the wind.

She collided against the roof on the side of her body with a wet _smack._

For only a moment, he watched her lay there, crying and confused.

And then he formed a single hand seal.

"_Kage Bunshin no jutsu._"

Three Kakashi stood there for a split second, and two subsequently vanished using the Shunshin technique.

The last Kakashi hopped down on to the roof that Sakura lay, and removed a kunai from his pouch.

"_Kakashi. I am placing a large amount of faith in you. You truly believe you can create a functional team 7?"_

_The gray-haired Jounin smirked, chuckled, and paused his walking long enough for Sarutobi to hear his answer._

"_Hokage-sama, I'm not trying to make a functional Team 7. I am making Team Kakashi, and they will be the best."_


End file.
